Friday, 25 April 2008

Sometimes ...



Sometimes it's very easy to slip into taking things a bit too much for granted. Big Sister has her first GCSE today and an insurmountable number of tests are piling up for her. I am a very lucky lady - my daughters are kind, considerate (to others, if not each other!), polite, well behaved and most days a delight to be around. What I sometimes am in danger of forgetting is just how fragile they are.



These past few weeks have proved a real test for Big Sister in many ways. She has had to confront a lot of her demons, sit in her room and revise whilst outside the sun was shining, learn that as much as she wants to, mum can't stop the inevitable exam timetable from drawing nearer. Sometimes I want to morph into her and do the pesky tests for her but what good would that do? Sometimes, this week in particular, I want to stop the world from crowding in on her and leave her be.



Sometimes she shows me a piece of her writing, like she did yesterday, and I cry because even under pressure she can produce such beauty. Sometimes when she is crying I wish she wasn't so sensitive and hard working and things would be better for her. Sometimes when she is crying the only thing that works is mad mum dancing and I did so much of that last night that I'm surprised I'm still mobile this morning.



Sometimes I am so proud of you Big Sister and forget to tell you. Sometimes the darned clock seems to forget to tick and a school day feels like a life time.
Sometimes it's good to know there's a vat of ice cream in the freezer, a comfy sofa and some more of that dancing waiting at home for you.

34 comments:

mollycupcakes said...

Kim that was truely a moving post, I wish your daughter all the best of luck with her exams. She'll get through them just fine because she knows she has the full support of you. And you'll make it all better if things go wrong.
You should have an award for best Mum.
Hugs.
Catherine x
Ps, I hope my oldest feels the same then she sits her sats next week.

LOUISE @ HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS said...

I was sensitive and hardworking at school, so I can relate to Big Sister. You can see just how hard she is working on her revision, just like my parents did, and whatever her results are, you know she has done her very best, and with her personality the future can only be bright. x

cd&m said...

Keep dancing and serving icecream! Wishing Big Sister the very best of luck with her GCSE's (I'm sure she will sail through them).

Thimbleanna said...

Another beautiful post Kim! And boy - I can so relate. It's so hard to sit back and watch all those awful exams. My oldest was like yours -- suffering and worrying so much over each one. He'll still have many ahead too -- I'll be glad someday when it's ALL over! Wishing your baby comfort and great results on her exams!

carolyn said...

Oh Kim it's a tough time for Big Sister and as caring parent a tough time for you too. I'm sure she will be fine but it's hard to see our little ones having to cope with so much. Wishing her lots and lots of luck.
(And remember if it all goes wrong there are always resists, GCSE's are not the end of the world even if my own particular teachers would have had me believe so.)

Jackie m said...

What a lovely Mum you are Kim, that was such a sweet post. I do hope it went well today for big sister, every good wish to her. Jackie Mx

Garden girl said...

You made me cry! (again)My heart goes out to big sister during this yucky time. I remember my first GCSE was on my birthday and my lovely Mum was waiting anxiously for me to get home to see how it went. We had pancakes for lunch! Thats how much these important events stay with you. (it was a while ago, after all!)Big sister will forever remember your mad mum dancing, I promise.x

~~ATTIC CLUTTER~~ said...

Kim I was surprised to see your cool page about your big sis because I was thinking of doing that too
~~Loved it !!...so off I go
~~~(:) hugs Patty

Samantha said...

Hi Kim,
I do hope Big Sister did well!

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does the mad mum dancing. Shame that no one appreciates it round here.

x

Cowboys & Custard said...

Gosh Kim.. you know how to tug the heart strings...
Not only are your daughters delightful and dutiful and sensitive but so is their very special Mum..
The rites of passage is a painful journey at times but be certain that your lovely daughters will emerge stronger and better equipped to face this world..

MXX

April said...

Kim, that is so beautiful you just made me cry. We've had a very tearful little girl today as she is picked on by one of her girls in her class (obviously NOT a friend!) All I want to do is wrap her in my arms and protect her from the big bad world and I can't. She is a sensitive soul like Big Sister and I hope I am as supportive as you are in helping my girl grow up into such a lovely young woman as she is.

Good luck to her in her exams - they don't last forever.

Hugs

April xx

Greentwinsmummy said...

oh thats made me cry x good luck poppet with the ghastly exams,I promise PROMISE! in years to come it will be all a blur :o) all the stress & worry forgotton.

Kim there is NOTHING like a mummys love,no matter how old/young,they are our throats catch & our hearts stagger & leapt when they are worried or sad or facing something not so easy for the first time.

Mine laugh at my dancing & if I sing ;oO heck they shout stopsingingmummmmeeeeeeee till I laugh so hard it hurts!
GTM
x x x x x

twiggypeasticks said...

what a lovely post, lots of luck to your girl.
twiggy x

the homely year. said...

It's a tough time during exams, especially for mums...good luck!
Margaret and Noreen

Katherines Dream said...

You continue with the mad mum routine, if you can make them laugh or even smile through the hard times, you will aways be a shining light in their lives. Nothing in the world can match a loyal, supportive, caring and 'happy' Mother.
Carolxx
ps. Katie has 'started' I will be beside her thoughout.

Ali said...

I feel for you. Number 1 son is only doing KS1 SATs and still I begin to feel the pressure. Good thing I have a few more years to get my mad Mum dancing up to scratch!

Alison Boon said...

Exam stress, not good for anyone. You seem to be doing a great job supporting her. Wishing her the very best of luck, fingers crossed in NZ that every question is one she has revised.

Pondside said...

It's so hard to watch our children struggle - so hard to see the gifts in them and to know that they haven't yet recognized those gifts. There's no doubt that Big Sister is in for some short term pain as she writes the dreaded exams - but long term gain from all her effort and your loving (and sometimes mad!) support. Good luck to her!
..........and what a Good Mum you are!

periwinkle said...

Swallowing hard-- thats a lovely post Kim. Lucky Big Sis to have you and lucky you to have Big sis.. keep up with the dancing and Good luck with the exams
Lisa x

Simone said...

Big Sis has a lovely supportive mum to come home to at the end of the day.

driftwood said...

I wish my mum had served ice cream and danced at exam times, it sounds perfect.

the flour loft said...

This is such a beautiful post Kim. I have tears in my eyes. My eldest is a very sensitive soul too so i can relate to this. You must teach me your dance as i may well need it (yr 6 sats next year).
I am sure that with all your love and support(and ice cream) your daughter will get through this ok... Then Summer hols with no pressure and fun fun fun!
lots of love to you both.
ginny x

Jennie said...

It is so stressful for them when they are going through their exams. I think more so for girls for some reason. I will keep my fingers crossed for Big sister and I hope she does marvellously well (which I am sure she will!)

Vintage Amethyst said...

Aahhh what a lovely post Kim.,
Wishing your daughter all the best for her exams, it is such a hard time thank goodness she has such a lovely mummy as you!
love Alison x

Louise said...

Such a beautifully written post Kim and it describes just how I feel about my eldest and she's only 8! But she's just so serious and works so hard at everything she does. Glad to know I'm not the only mad mum dancer around. I wish your daughter all the very best with her exams - she is so lucky to have such a lovely gentle, nutty mother!!

BeachysCapeCodCupboard said...

How beautiful, Kim! I can tell how much you love your daughters, and how proud they make you. You are doing your job well! =)

Sea Angels said...

Hello Kim....your lovely daughters will remember all of these moments, they will treasure them and hold them for ever in their hearts, because you are their gift and they are yours, and it is so beautiful. Its a treasure.
Enjoy,
Hugs Lynn xx

Nonnie said...

I know that it was my Mum that got me through my exams and revision. Usually making sure there was a ready supply of Cadburys Caramel Bars which were my favourite at the time! I'm sure Big Sister totally appreciates her lovely dancing Mum. Wishing her lots of luck in every exam. x

Sal said...

That was lovely to read.
I hope she does well and I am sure you will get an A* for being such a great mum ;-)

julia said...

What a lovely post. I'm dreading the whole exam thing, your instincts as a parent are to help your children but you can't sit the flipping things for them.
Your daughter knows she has your support, what more could you do, all will be well I'm sure.
Julia x

dottycookie said...

Such a lovely post Kim - your daughter is lucky to have you, and i wish her all the best in the dreaded exams. My mum used to look after me when I cried over exams too - so keep dancing!

Cami said...

Most of us have been there---on both fronts. As a girl and as a Mum. Neither is easy, but brings w/ it lessons of fortitude and strength and love. And the great calming qualities of ice cream! My two have enormous tests tomorrow and the next day. I'm off to leave them good luck charms and a little note by their breakfast dishes.

Country Cottage Chic said...

Hope everything is going well now. In our house, The Girl is fast approaching A level exams (this week) & The Boy has year 9 SATS next week so it's going to be a "testing" time around here for a few weeks!

Alchamillamolly said...

I think that the dreaded exams come at such a hard time in their lives they have so much to cope with in their changing minds and bodies its like the last thing they need is pressure -