Friday 11 July 2008

Food for thought



I have had my nose buried in this book for the past few days. I've wanted a copy for a while now and have been waiting for it to be published in paperback. I love Nigel Slater's writing. Here is a book full of the idiosyncracies of the way we eat, the things we eat, the way we shop and the way we cook. But it is much more than this, it's a celebration of our food, our relationships with food and the way we view our food that is so particularly English. (and yes, it does cover our peculiar fascination with afternoon tea). This book has given me so much food for thought (excuse the pun).



After I wrote a recent post about a trip to the beach and the inevitable 99 on the way home, I was emailed by the lovely Anna who asked me to explain what I was talking about. Of course I took it for granted that she would know that a 99 was an ice cream in a cone with a chocolate flake stuck in. How could something that seemed to have been around throughout my childhood not be known by everybody else. I then realised that is these food references that cause puzzlement to us bloggers. I have read countless wonderful posts from Amercian bloggers with passing references to foods I've never heard of, that sound wonderful but I have no idea whether they're savoury, sweet or indeed edible. Isn't it strange that something we take so much for granted, something that has become so embedded in our culture is not universally shared. I remember always buying my 99s as a child from the ice cream van and asked Anna if they had them in USA? A rather naive question perhaps, but I really can't remember reading about them or seeing them anywhere else than over here. Yes was the answer and in a similar way Anna says she vividly remembers the sound of the ice cream van (truck) approaching. During our emails I suddenly realised that most of my childhood summer memories have the sound of an ice cream van in the background. It seemed to be the backdrop to so many summer evenings. You would have eaten your supper, the sun was still shining (it always seemed to be sunny in my memories too) and in the distance you would hear the magical sound of the ice cream van a few roads away. This gave you just enough time to find your mum, for her to find her purse and for you to be given some coins to rush out into the road and wait, sitting on the garden wall for the ice cream van to finally turn into your road. I would queue with my friends who lived in the road and we would look at all the photos of ice lollies, hoping that they hadn't sold out, but it was inevitably to the lure of the 99 that I succumbed.



Just yesterday I was emailing a friend and we were talking about The Famous Five and ended up, as you do, imagining summer picnics and lashings of ginger beer and Aunt Fanny's fruit cake. I can't remember ever having lashings of ginger beer as a child but I am oh so nostalgic about the food that the Famous Five would get through every time they were out on their jollys.
Another favourite book, Milly Molly Mandy is full of reference to home baking, cooking, cakes, blackberry picking and egg collecting - and it's these little snippets that I love. If I'm honest the scenes I love best in Harry Potter are those huge feasts at Hogwarts or the scenes when Mrs Weasley is preparing her meals for all her family. These were all reminders of those Enid Blyton stories I devoured when I was little.



A few weeks ago I watched The Supersizers go Seventies. It made us all laugh, particularly Big sister. It brought back so many memories, not just about the food but life how it was when I was little. Gosh the food was really unhealthy, fresh food was really lacking in this programme, the age of processed, packaged food was dawning. In our home I remember my mum introducing garlic powder for the first time (fresh garlic still scarcely available), chilli con carne (she always overdid the chilli) and my friend says that no camping trip for her family was complete without a Vesta Curry. I loved Arctic Roll, fish fingers, tinned peaches and cream, pear drops, sherbet pips, Blackjacks and my mum's Christmas trifle.



Nigel Slater in his book says that Sarson's vinegar is the smell of Britain. Not sure if I would agree with this as I could think of a lot of other smells that could sit alongside it. But there's no denying it that there was always a bottle of Sarsons in our kitchen cupboard to go on our chips, just as there is in my home today, still taking pride of place on the table when the chips are served. Could you imagine sitting on the beach next to a fish and chip shop without the waft of vinegar mingling with the sea air?



I could go on forever about my food memories and this book has brought so many of them back to the surface again. So if you like teacakes, toast, toffee or tatties, have a passion for sweets, chocolates or cakes or simply just enjoy buying, cooking or eating food I'd get hold of a copy of this book, settle down on the sofa with a mug of tea and a packet of bourbons (or digestives, Rich Tea, Custard Creams, Jammie Dodgers, Club biscuits, kit kats, Jaffa Cakes, Gingernuts - I could go on ...)

51 comments:

Emma Herian said...

Kim! You have my favourite childhood caramel biscuits! I send packets out to my sister in Aus as she misses them so much. When mum used to do the shopping on a Friday, we would rush home from school knowing that we had our friday teat of those and... Limeade! Yuck! I would never touch Limeade now, but we loved it then! We weren't allowed squash so this was such a treat.
I still buy them for the boys, they get excited as I do!
Sniff sniff, are you having chips tonight with Sarsons, its wafting up the hill!
Hope you had a fantastic time yesterday, can't wait till we go! Tee hee.
Spk soon
Emx

Emma Herian said...

Me again, did you ever have creamso
da!? Youve set me off down memory lane......were you a secret lemonade drinker!... What was the milk thing as well..... red and white stripey straw.....?

Garden Girl said...

Such a lovely post Kim, on a brilliant book that I too have on my bookshelf. I think Nigel would love your post too! You have a similar descriptive way of writing.we too have a bottle of Sarsons as a cupboard staple, when I was pregnant I was dousing everything with it! Weird huh?!
Love your teacake photo..I remember Millymollymandy stories-my Granny used to read them to me-I loved her stripy dress and how she yearned to run a sweet shop when she grew up. Happy Days.

Clare and Mike said...

Hi Kim,

I haven't visited for a while but what a wonderful post to happen upon for my return!

I saw that particular programme and it brought back such amazing memories - I loved Angel Delight and was involved in a series of trials for new flavours (a child's dream!!)

I loved Tunnock's teacakes (they were sold at our school tuck shop!) My husband still regularly devours the Tunnocks caramels!

That book sounds like a must-read for me.

I'll leave you with this passing thought; whatever became of Royal Scot biscuits..?

Have a lovely weekend.

Clare x

julia said...

Ian is particularly proud of the fact that he can shove a whole Tunnocks teacake into his mouth! Me, I'm far more lady like and eat it layer by layer, always leaving the biscuit base til last!
We used to have a fish van which came up our road as child and as a treat we were always allowed a pack of crisps with the little bag of salt, I can still picture the man in the van with his brylcreemed hair.
A firm favourite in our house in the eighties were Findus crispy pancakes, as well as Super Noodles. Isn't it funny that we were fed these "new" foods with gusto and nowadays we're trying to stop our children eating them!
Thanks for evoking lovely memories again Kim, and is it just me or were summer hotter when we were children?
Have a lovely, and no doubt wet, weekend.
Julia x

Knitty, Vintage and Rosy said...

Although I grew up here in Canada we had many of the same treats as you. Digestives, Rich Tea, custard creams were the norm in our household. Many of these are becoming more difficult to find here. My husband is Italian but I cook basically English food with the odd Pasta al Forno thrown in for good measure.

The funny thing is the kids are quite dark and European looking and never fail to get a second glance when ordering scones with devonshire cream thankyouverymuch or always requesting malt vinegar with their chips.

The apple never falls far from the tree.

Lisa
Knitty, Vintage and Rosy

silverpebble said...

So so enjoyed this post and I'll be off to buy this one from Mr Slater (I loved Toast). Ah, the ice cream van, the vinegar on chips, the arctic roll! I really miss arctic roll!

Have you read Food of Love (Anthony Capella)? You might enjoy it...

Country Bliss said...

Hi, what a great post evoking many memories we had artic roll for a treat and sometimes Vesta curry, which my dad wouldn't eat as he considered it too spicy! I must get the book as I have all of his others he is such a great writer. Also I'd forgotten about the Milly Molly Mandy books, I used to love those they're probably stashed away in my loft now I'll have to hunt them down!

Anonymous said...

What memories about food you've awakened here. Where we lived was too isolated for the icecream van but on Sunday morning we would walk to the local shop for a block of Wall's vanilla to have for tea. Only problem was, we didn't have a fridge so my mum would wrap it in thick layers of newspaper and put it in our very cold pantry. By tea time it was very soft but still just about edible...we loved it anyway!
Margaret and Noreen

Sian said...

Angel Delight! I remember that, it was like magic...

I also remember an American friend who called the ice cream van "the good humour man" and found my bewildered expression very funny indeed.

...and it was always sunny in the Seventies :o)

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Kim, what a lot of food memories! 99's would be near the top of my list. Tunnock's teacakes, black jacks and fruit salads; arctic roll, which I had forgotten about ~ fish fingers are still a favourite! Happy days!

Marie x

Gill said...

I enjoyed this book too, if you haven't read Toast I'd recommend that too, it's also full of food memories. I mainly remember having a freshly cooked meal every day, and learning to cook at Mum's side which has stood me in good stead to this day. Her first curry wasn't too good (minced beef with curry powder thrown in) but I'm a huge fan of Indian food now in spite of that! Vesta meals were very daring and a rare treat, the only yoghurts were Ski and they were only occasionally found in the fridge. Angel Delight,Findus crispy pancakes, Faggots.....
I adored stuffed hearts but have only made them once myself for my Husband when we were first married, he was appalled and said they smelt like dog-food!
Lovely post as always.
Gill x

{oc cottage} said...

Funny you should be posting about this...I was using a particular expression the other day and I thought "oh, no one will get this" which made me think that we should have an "Idiom" day...use, AND explain a familiar expression, since I have seen so often that between the US, UK & Aussie blogs...well, you'd never know we all really speak ENGLISH!!Although I'm sure some would beg to differ on that point :)
I see that you have sent your countymen down memory lane...how fun!
Well, I have no idea what you're talking about...but I truly enjoyed this post!!

M ^..^

Janice said...

OMG what memories your post brought back. I left England with my family in the 60's as a teenager but I still remember so many of the things you mentioned. I am drooling just thinking about a 99. We don't have ice cream vans like we had in England, we have ice cream bikes that come around but they have popsicles or ice cream bars. Not the same by a long shot.

Ally Jay said...

Childhood food is a great subject. I read Toast by Nigel Slater a few weeks ago all about his childhood food and it brought back memeories then. Will look out for this newest offering. Loved the post. I used to really love Bird's eye Chicken pies as a child. Also trifle which was at every party you went to.

Greentwinsmummy said...

I adore Mr Slater,his books are marvelous,including the cooking ones too!his passion for food is right up my street lol~ The Tunnocks tea cakes & the Caramels are the among the few ready made things we buy here,I get such a blast of nostalgia from them :o)
GTM x

Racheal Miles said...

oh, you have brought back so many memories for me.

Thanks so much for this post.

Club biscuits, I had forgotten all about them.

The sound of the ice cream van, always a 99 or a screwball with the bubble gum at the bottom.

Racheal x

Elizabethd said...

Oh stop it kim....tooooo much for this poor expat, who cant get Marmite, cant get Digestive biscuits, cant get.....whinge whinge!
you mentioned all my favourite childhood books, particularly MMM and I still have my old copies.

Tracy said...

Lovely, tasty post, Kim! I've added this Nigel Slater book to my reading list--thanks for the tip. :o) Having read English literature and anything Britain-related since my teens I know much of the food delights you are talking about, and have sampled many. And while we were in England just now, we had the best food! Being a huge Anglophile, I get uppity when I read/hear how bad the food in Britain is--NOT true! There is so much good food in Britain everywhere you go! This is making me hungry...I think I'm going to have to dig into the tea and chocolate we brought back from London! Wishing you & yours a delicious weekend ((HUGS))

Cowboys and Custard Mercantile said...

This is a fabulous post Kim and all so very evocative and appetising.
You have awakened many of my childhood memories of food.. the FAB ice lollies covered in hundreds and thousands, the Sarsons bottle that was recycled for a laundry damper, Angel Delight.. butterscotch of course, and VESTA dishes .. how could I forget these cardboard culinary delights! I cooked up a Vesta Chow Mein as my first dish to woo my beloved.. when I was fifteen years old. It obviously appealed to his taste buds because we are still together!
I love to reminisce about childhood treats and Nigel Slater does this so well in his books as do you!!
Love
Dxx

JuicyFig said...

Hi Kim

I was hungry before I started to read this, I am STARVING now! 99's Oysters (from the Icecream van) the chimes always played 'greensleeves' near us!
I remember spending my paper round money on cola cubes!

I am going to have to purchase that book!

Kath
x

Heidi said...

Happy Saturday Kim, Thank you for being such a dear friend!...love it when I check my e-mails & there is one from you!...I have been so busy lately that I haven't had ample time to visit & respond!...So I am this morning!...I read & enjoyed every line of this post of yours!!! I also asked you about the "99's", not having a clue what they were?...Now I know! Oh!..they sound delicious!! Now I want one!!....Your blog is an example of why I love meeting & learning & exchanging insights this way...this "blogging"!....Isn't it lovely that we all can make friends, ask questions & experience each others countries this way!...I never mean to be "nose-y", but absolutely love asking you about your life in England! You are always so forthcoming & answer my silly questions! You & a few other English friends, make living in England come alive for those of us that haven't traveled there...You give us the "day to day" experiences that are much better than just being a tourist!...In fact Kim, truth be told, last night at the baby shower some of the ladies were asking about "blogging"?...I told them it was so much fun to meet women from around the world that share the same interests!...& I mentioned "YOU"...telling them about the National Trust houses, the actress that your family saw on Father's Day...& your darling house & family....I'm telling you! They all are wanting to blog now!....OMGoodness...I have written a novel again! So sorry!...Anyway, thank you for being one of my "favorite friends"....(& I too have re-watched Harry Potter to just get all the decorating ideas!!!!)...Enjoy you weekend!....Heidi XO

OhSoVintage said...

I haven't read this book yet but enjoyed 'Toast'. Luckily I wasn't one of those children whose mum told them that when the ice cream van sounds his jingle it means he's run out of ice cream!!

mountainear said...

Fantastically tasty post - I wonder how many future children are going to have nostalgic memories of yoghurt or carrot sticks in days to come?

I bet those memories will still include the naughty-but-nice treats.

Anyone remember Spangles by the way?

Thimbleanna said...

What a great post Kim, and judging by the length of all of these comments, everyone else thought so too! Several things in that post that I don't know -- you know, being from the other side of "the Pond" and all. I must return to your fair homeland and have proper fish and chips -- oh yum. But the thought of vinegar on our fries is so funny here!
Mr. Slater's book sounds divine -- I wonder if it's available here? And surely, if his book is truly a "celebration of our food", he must devote a whole chapter to mashed potatoes...no???

Sal said...

What a brilliant post Kim. A treat of a trip back into my childhood!

I loved Cadbury's Skippy biscuits,Spangles and Potato Puffs. I adored Milly Molly Mandy books!

From the Cadbury website:
FLAKE 99
The real reason for "99" Flake being so called has been lost in the mists of time, but this is an extract from an article which appeared in a Cadbury works paper many years ago.
At a recent Sales conference Mr Berry, a sales manager, told a story of how Flake became associated with ice cream and how "99" Flake came by its name.


"When I first came north in 1928 I found that some of the Italian soft ice cream makers in County Durham were trying ways of introducing other lines to increase their sales, which in those days were largely in the form of sandwich wafers. The possibilities were obvious if we could get a suitable line, both in shape and size and texture - and the most promising was Flake, which at that time only sold as a
2d line, and therefore had to be cut with a knife to reduce its size."

It proved very successful and its popularity quickly spread. After successive introductions of half penny and 1d Flake, both of which were sold with ice cream, the Sales Committee finally agreed to produce a special size to fit the sandwich and Mr Berry visited a number of Italian customers in the area. After this of course the cornet with the Flake placed temptingly in the top of the ice cream became very popular.

In the days of the monarchy in Italy the King has a specially chosen guard consisting of 99 men, and subsequently anything really special or first class was known as "99" - and that his how "99" Flake came by its name.

Sal;-)

Ally Jay said...

Hi Kim, just wanted to say I left you an award on my blog

April said...

Wow, all those food memories - I still love Jaffa Cakes and the tiny little Burtons tea cakes. I used to love mint yo-yo's but sadly they are no longer available :-(

I could go on...., Sunday roast for lunch and then a "sweet tea" including scones, crumpets, fondant fancies MMmmm!!

April xx

periwinkle said...

ahh Tunnocks teacakes, you have stirred up so many foodie memories now, Do you remember a sweet called a Cabana - a kind of coconut, caramel cherry thing -- yummy.
lisa x

Paper Roses said...

Hi Kim.
How lovely you have really taken me on a trip down memory lane.
I know its a bit sad but those were the good old days....
Sherbet dip dabs and sweet tobacco were my favourites i am surprised i have any teeth left.
Have you seen the film Abigail's party.
So seventies dinner party.
Your writing is really descriptive just like Nigel's.
I am going to look out for that book tomorrow.
Have you read his book Toast.
I have loved him ever since reading that book, he lost his mum at such a young age in it he tells all his memories of his childhood food.
Debbie

meggie said...

What a great post! It is true that we take our foods for granted, & forget that other countries may never have heard of them!

The Vintage Kitten said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blossomcottage said...

I have just found you by way of a couple of blogs on "Purplecoo" and I am so glad I did.
Not only I have a really enjoyed my trip down memory lane but you are clearly a "girl" after my own heart. You live in a similar area to me I am under the South Downs not far from the sea with wonderful views all around, but you too love "I Captured the Castle" by Doddie Smith,
I so wanted to be Cassandra with my feet in the sink writing my journal!
Anyway that is by the by should you find me at the bottom of very long list of comments your memories of foods are so similar to mine I too watched the Supersizers go Seventies, but one of the things I don't remember them mentioning was Banoffie Pie, which was invented in 1972 at the Hungry Monk Resturant in East Sussex. Its stood the test of time and is still just as unhealty lovely and very very fattening!
Blossom

Heidi said...

I could settle down with any book when I have a packet of bourbons. LOL! I do know that each country seems to have its own food traditions and I have many favorite British things since I used to spend so much time there. Still do...just the thought of sticky toffee pudding with cream makes me go all fuzzy inside. :) Again something Jos used to bring back in his suitcase for me. He always would pop into a grocery store before he came back from a business trip and his coworkers thought that was strange. I visit grocery stores in any country I visit. It just for the reasons you describe here...the food traditions are just great fun and so a part of the culture.

What a fun post reading about some of your favorite food thoughts.

Hugs ~
Heidi

Gone to Earth said...

Thank you for this post...I so remember those things! A friend gave me this book a while back and it's a little gem isn't it? 99's were the thing of summer weren't they. My Mum had one of those stripey blue and white jugs and I've tried many times to get one like it - she always served custard in it. ('Birds' you know!) As for the Super sizers, we've really enjoyed those. The seventies ummh - no wonder I love fruit and vegetables now they were a rare item in the diet then as I remember it! My aunt always had plastic fruit in a fruit bowl on her dinning table at that time.
I bought a Milly Molly Mandy book for my daughter but it didn't capture her imagination in the same way that it did mine. The Famous Five on the other hand...

Bonnie the Boss said...

Ahhhh, food! I miss custard in a can. (I love custard that much) Malt vinigar on a poke of fresh chips. Jammy dodgers and Digestives. I particularly like the ones with the chocolate.
The other day Iwas trying to tell my family about an icecream thing you could get off the sweetie van. It was a wafer with marshmellow then another wafer covered with choclate with icecream on top and then if you wanted another wafer.
I can't remember what it is called.
Maybe they are only a scottish thing. Do you know what I am talking about?
I enjoyed this post. I wish our icecream vans were as cool as yours. We don't have as much variety. They are not very common either. Sigh.

Country Cottage Chic said...

Oh I shall have to buy the book now!

I think we should have a bloggers Enid Blyton picnic now!

Jayne

Rosezilla (Tracie Walker) said...

I never know half of what you guys are talking about and it's fascinating trying to figure it out. Here in the States it is totally different things, but I wonder how many times it is just a different name for the same thing. I don't know, tho, I never knew anyone who put vinegar on their chips! Loved this post and I wouldn't mind reading the book, although I might have to ask you to explain it to me!

Carol said...

Is it our age that makes us look back with such fond memories...this was a lovely post Kim...ice cream vans and all!
I was at Katies on Sunday and was telling her the story of where I used to play for hours as a child by a little stream not far from her house..and I do remember the sound of the ice cream van...infact I saw it on my way home! it has not changed that much. We also talked about the little corner shop on the end of her terrace, which is still there today, but is now another Beauty Shop!...I have fond memories going there on a Sunday morning with a list of things that Mum needed!....Wonderload sprang into my minds eye...I do prefer the waxy paper that it was wrapped in...and we were both laughing at how we have both bought Warburtons cut loaf recently, because we liked the waxy paper! she must be a clone of me....
Have a lovely week...must stop here - otherwise I will prattle on for England!!!
Carolx
Nigel Slater is a fav of mine...I could listen to him taking for hours. I have not read this book so I guess I will be on Amazon later ordering it - to put with the huge pile of books I have ordered and intend to read oneday!

Summer by the sea said...

Great post, I remember reading the 'Twins at St Claire's' when I was younger and salivating as I read about the food they would have at their midnight feasts at boarding school! - I have just bought a copy of Milly Molly Mandy for my daughter when she is a bit older as I loved it so much when I was little - Natalie x

Rowan said...

Marvellous post Kim, I must look out for this book. I remember 99s as well but I can go back even further and remember getting ice cream wafers and cornets from a man pulling an ice cream cart on a bicycle! I remember also when the ice cream man rang a big brass bell to announce his presence. I remember lashings of ginger beer too as my mum used to make it. Lots of lovely memories - and we still have Sarsons vinegar in the cupboard too:)

mollycupcakes said...

A totally yummy post Kim,
I loved those days of waiting for the ice-cream van to come round the corner. You don't seem to hear it anymore :(
I was surprised when I did the post about my Gypsy Tarts, I just thought everyone had heard of them lol
Even some people in this country hadn't but they do now.
It's fun to share our favourite foods with one another in blogland.
My recipe book has tripled.
Love the pink tin and thanks sweetie for looking out for an eiderdown xxx
Many hugs.
Catherine

Alchamillamolly said...

My cup runneth over!! Waht wonderful memories you have evoked of food. I think I will read the book. Now then does anyone remember having some Nestle's milk spread on bread from a tube?? I cant find anyone that can revive that one!
There was a boy in our street who used to brag that his butter had a stork on it!! What about Cracker Barrel Cheese - I remember my Mam getting a sample through her door to try it. FRay Bentos tinned steak pie?? YUK tho at the time you would tell everyone at school you had had it. I am on a roll now - how about the blocks of ice cream with wafers on - lovely - the ice cream man was so exciting cos no-one had a freezer apart from a little box in the top corner of the fridge - must go tea is ready - mince cauliflower cheese and potatoes - yummy

Niki Fretwell said...

A WONDERFUL post Kim! Loved it!

As a child we always ate fig roll biscuits - think Mum thought they were a healthy option (and would keep us regular!! ;-))

Niki x

dottycookie said...

I'll see your 99 and raise you an oyster ...

Oh, but sherbet pips - yum. Can you still get them?

Heidi said...

Hi Kim, Just a little note to let you know I selected you for an award on my blog!...heidi XO

Cape Cod Washashore said...

Oh Kim! We sell Sarson's Vinegar at our shop! =) And I've had myself a "99" (in Britain, though)! I do recognize quite a few of your favs. As a matter of fact, I just did an order from our British food suppler yesterday. We can't keep PGTips decaf in stock! This is common here... do they sell like hotcakes where you are, too? All our suppliers are out! Our customers will buy 6 boxes of PGTips or more at a time! I also had to order two cases of Devon Creme (no, not all for me)! lol

Cape Cod Washashore said...

Oh YES! We've sold Sherbet Pips, too! I had one customer nearly cry when she saw them... she was an expat and said they reminded her of her childhood!

tea time and roses said...

Had to drop by and say hello! What a lovely post here, and a very interesting and fun book! Have a wonderful rest of the week!

Smiles...

Beverly

Louise said...

I always enjoy The Taste of my Life on TV with Nigel Slater, whenever I can get to see it, like The Supersizers, either on at a silly time or clash with another programme! I have been meaning to get a copy of this book, it sounds really good. We had an ice-cream man down our way when I was a kid, a good job really as the shops were miles away. If it wasn't a 99, it was a Fab or Zoom, or even a Funny Face! Tunnocks teacakes and caramel wafers are a favourite in our household, they don't last more than five minutes. Arctic Rolls, we most definitely had those as a pudding back in the 1970s. Can you remember when freezer centres became all the rage, full of chest freezers, all in long rows? I do not like the smell of vinegar and will only have it on beetroot or mint sauce, not on chips, yuk! Great post Kim, it has taken me a long, long way back! x

Anonymous said...

I still love a 99, but is it only me who can remember a 77. A 77 was 4d ice cream plus the cost of a 3d flake, hence a 77 cost 7d. A 99 was a 6d ice cream with a 3d flake, so costing 9d.

No-one else seems to remember this, so either I am very old or have a very active imagination. lol